What are you trying to find???

Monday, June 11, 2012

A promise

This above picture is extra scary (so I made it extra big for ya'll). That is a picture of the first time I wore a bathing suit after giving birth to my son. We were going to play in the water, so I put on my bathing suit (my maternity bathing suit, but who cares?) and looked at myself in the mirror... and I choked a little bit. I hated the reflection and I wanted to take it off. I almost did. And then I remembered if I took it off becuase I was worried about what I looked like, I would miss an opportunity to play with my son. I would miss his first time 'swimming'. I don't want Sam to have memories of his mom sitting off to the side and missing fun stuff because she didn't like herself in a swimsuit, she was dieting, or she was afraid someone might get her bigger-than-she-likes-it bootie on camera. I looked at myself and said-- I am doing this because I want to play with my son, not because I look awesome in a bathing suit. And I left my inhibitions in the bathroom mirror... and we went swimming.
My mom was running the camera that day, and she graciously considered my plight and attempted to only photograph from flattering angles (Thanks mom! You're the best!) But regardless of how awesome or not awesome I looked, we had a blast playing in the water. I am thrilled I was there to play with him, and I am glad there are pictures of it--and even pictures of me-- to remember that day. I came so close to bailing because of my own vanity and bathing-suit induced terror... how sad.
So here is a promise I made to myself, and my son:  
I promise I won't miss any moments because of my own vanity. I don't care if I look like a fool or feel like a whale, being your mama is more important than any of that.

Capturing the Joy in Life


  1. Oh, Valerie, you so get it. You are right, no matter what you're wearing or how you think you look, your little guy will remember a mom who is beautiful and fun to play with.

    1. Yup, but i still have to remind myself of that often!